Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You think you know your partner?

If nothing else, simple quizzes can spark ways for you to gain new insights about your relationships. They can trigger you to consider going back to the topics of initial curiosity, in the early days of your relationship, in a way getting back to basics.

Dr. John Gottman's name comes up again and again, especially after moving to Colorado, and I've come to like his work with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. In the quiz linked below, you can take five minutes to answer some yes/no questions. And then reflect, not just on your score, and not just on individual questions, but what went on in choosing your answer. Be aware - if you felt an answer immediately - obviously - or you felt drawn by obligation or maybe discomfort, shame?, to answer one way. What was that like? And, what can you do about that? Remember, it's a self-assessment, so be honest with yourself.

And then, use those new insights as triggers to new interactions with your partner, maybe even share your insights. Re-discover and re-connect on those simple items and see where it takes you.

Also, check out some of the other resources on gottman.com and let me know what you think.

http://www.gottman.com/qz1/HowWellDoYouKnowYourPartner.html

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